And for a good part of the past couple of years, her brain felt resolutely set to “static.” “I had been trying to look for inspiration but wala talaga—nothing,” she recalls. “I couldn’t pull out anything; I honestly thought my brain had turned into mush.”
It was a scary place to be for the 35-year-old.
No wonder that not being in the right mindset to even get anything started was terrifying.
She eventually realized that she needed to follow her brain’s cues and intentionally stop to take stock of where she was. “I was trying to avoid having to listen to what my brain and my body were telling me—and to accept that. To acknowledge that I’ve been running myself ragged,” Sarenas now reflects.
“It got to a point where I finally wondered why I kept looking for ideas elsewhere when I could’ve been looking at what’s in front of me.” A change in pace and perspective turned out to be the key, and the lack of inspiration became the inspiration for her latest collection “Off the Record.”
No wonder that not being in the right mindset to even get anything started was terrifying.
“It got to a point where I finally wondered why I kept looking for ideas elsewhere when I could’ve been looking at what’s in front of me.” A change in pace and perspective turned out to be the key, and the lack of inspiration became the inspiration for her latest collection “Off the Record.”
In keeping with the collection’s honesty, “Off the Record”’s presentation also veered from the usual fashion show format. Instead of a parade of fully styled models, Sarenas would alternately approach her two all-black-clad models (one of whom was her friend Jo Ann Bitagcol), to drape and arrange an item from the collection on them: an apron, a vest, a waist belt. Nostalgic ballads played in the background, their swelling melodies reminiscent of ’80s Easy Sunday playlists. The staging, the pace, and the hushed sense of watching an artist be in her natural element seemed to demonstrate to the audience that as finished as the collection already was, an evolution was still taking place. The show concluded with Sarenas taking a bow, Earth, Wind & Fire singing “I can’t escape the thought of all that might have been/ every now and then” in the background—an encapsulation of her longing-filled farewell to her former self.
“Everything [in the collection] was in pieces because my brain was in pieces,” she continues. “When put together, they looked fine; it made sense. But they’re not puzzle pieces meant to fit together. A lot of their grooves match, but there are still cracks and spaces in between.”
Instead, she’s running a business built on her vision of preserving and innovating generational Filipino methods. Gabbie Sarenas, the label, is frequently described as “a love letter to the Philippines.” From delicate embroidery to the layered volume play that can be created from indigenous textiles, the brand strives to make local artisanship relevant to and resonant with contemporary times. Its pace as a business also fits the purposeful nature of Sarenas’ work, with only one collection released per year. It’s a reasonable output for the amount of prep she does. “I put everything I could in them in one go because each one must cover all the bases: What’s its use? What’s the historical data and inspiration behind it?’ Though I enjoy it, it’s a lot of work for one person.”
But while she has found a groove that both fulfills her sense of purpose and keeps her small enterprise operating, Sarenas is hyper-aware of the cracks and gaps in her path—and joining the recently concluded Ternocon 3 had only highlighted them.
Not a lot of established designers would risk their resources and reputation to join (and potentially lose) a competition, but Sarenas highly recommends it. Although she had to balance Ternocon 3’s schedule with working on “Off the Record”—as well as getting sidelined by COVID in October—participating presented her with an opportunity to expand her knowledge.
Yet as much as these details and the long-term view can get her bogged in anxiety, Sarenas is mindful of reining in her thoughts lest she burns herself out again with worry. Remembering her creative purpose also helps her take a necessary pause to figure out her next steps. “I want to create something bigger than I am. Even then, I always have to remember the ‘why,’ and I can find that in the past. It’s a delicate balance of looking at what has been and what’s next.”
2022 shot from zero to 100 for Sarenas, who had emerged from immense burnout to find herself managing, once again, an overflowing plate. But instead of maintaining this warped speed, she’s now more conscious about checking in with herself and respecting where she’s at, including the uncertainty.
Creative direction by Nimu Muallam
Art direction by Levenspeil Sangalang
Video by Samantha Ong
Produced by Christian San Jose
Makeup by Pam Robes
Special thanks to Finale Art File
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