Digital romantics and the perks of a low-key relationship
Social media posts and public displays of affection were never our thing, and it’s honestly one of the best things about our relationship
Feb 14, 2020
There is a lingering sense of pride when you’re fresh into a new relationship. Of course, it comes with the undeniable happiness of being loved and in love. It’s the kind of feeling that creates a license to declare it to the world. “Hey, everyone! I am absolutely happy and it’s because of this person!” In turn, the world applauds. In other cases, it becomes a looming eye waiting to latch onto the first flaw it sees. The cycle continues and it’s created a norm for relationships to capture the gripping attention of the public.
Social media has become our life’s controlled arena. It’s where we paint a refined picture of our lives, or disclose hinting statements to what we’re actually feeling. A study on romantic status displays on social media shows that couple’s posts and photos posted online are connected to how they feel about each other. People who are in a committed relationship are more likely to post couple profile photos, while people who still prioritize independence despite being in a relationship will not post anything online. More people also take to social media when feeling insecure about a relationship in order to feel a sense of renewal between the two.
It’s worrisome when couples would rather put up a front than address relationship issues, when there’s more effort spent on an online image rather than a real-life connection.
I have no qualms about couples who are always showing their affection on social media. In fact, it actually sends me into a giddy frenzy. What concerns me though is what happens when the cameras shut down. It’s worrisome when couples would rather put up a front than address relationship issues, when there’s more effort spent on an online image rather than a real-life connection, when they clamor for validation from strangers rather than just believing in each other. I’ve had a good share of friends who seemed to be heading straight for the altar judging by their social media presence but afterwards, I’d be greeted with hour-long rants about how the relationship isn’t actually working out.
Time and time again, news would reach me saying that the couples I admired online were actually on the rocks in real life. On the other hand, because my boyfriend and I would never post about each other online, friends would ask me “Are you guys still together? Is there a problem between you two?” It turned out that because of our lack of public displays of affection, we were the ones who seemed to be in an unhappy relationship when, in fact, we were absolutely having the time of our lives.
When we started our relationship, we wanted to keep it to ourselves merely because of that unsure romance between two independent people deciding to finally rely on someone else. There weren’t any social media declarations about our new relationship status, no Instagram Stories during any date and no tweets dedicated to each other. We rarely interacted on social media even through comments and likes. A little extreme, yes, but in the end, it became a reason as to why our relationship has stayed strong.
However, through this, societal expectations on young couples, gossip from friends and family, and unnecessary comments on how to go about our relationship never concerned us.
Looking back, I think it was the fact that we simply just didn’t find social media necessary. We kept it on the down low because we always just enjoyed each other’s company that we forgot about social media. However, through this, societal expectations on young couples, gossip from friends and family, and unnecessary comments on how to go about our relationship never concerned us. We followed our own opinions crafted from our own experiences and feelings for each other, and simply built a relationship that was genuinely personal, intimate and sincere, – and it’s the best perk out there.
So, when friends would doubt my relationship just because we aren’t on social media, it signals that the digital world has such a strong grip even on our personal lives. That a sort of judgment taken from our online presence could coat our reality. This could greatly affect our relationships as we make it a priority to present ourselves as happy! perfect! flawless! so much that it distracts us from the present.
Remember that no validation from anyone online will work as well as the reassurance you get from your partner’s words and actions.
In the rush of today’s generation always being on the lookout for some kind of soulmate, especially with the popularity of dating apps, we’ve become a generation of digital romantics. While finding love online is a beauty of its own, we have to make sure that this love’s foundation surpasses the digital world. Post all you want on social media, but do it for yourself. Remember that no validation from anyone online will work as well as the reassurance you get from your partner’s words and actions. When it all comes down to the chase, a social media love story isn’t as good as the ones we are actually experiencing through genuine acts of love.
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